Category: Trust


Dec
2011

Wisdom Hunters Daily Devotionals – Spiritual Leadership

categories: Boundaries, Christ, Jesus, Leadership, Love, Relationships, Trust

After the comments made on relationships, I thought it right to share a blog post I received. I believe we can see from this perspective that no matter what we believe, the TRUTH is, the Bible teaches men to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. Men are called as a Spiritual leader in marriage. It doesn’t mean they always will. Christ laid His life down for the Church, so it would live and grow. Spiritual leadership requires having a healthy fear (respect and reverence) for God. When a man respects and honors God above all else, he will love his wife with a love that will draw his wife into his love, and she will respect and trust him.  Marriage was originally designed for those who love God and one another.  My experience has been that any relationship built on a sandy foundation and without an understanding of the love of God, will have great trouble. Paul tells us that those who love God will experience trouble in marriage.  Trusting God, respecting Him and seeking Him above all else will build a healthier perspective for love. Love includes boundaries. It is not a free for all, without moral integrity and disrespect for God and one another. Without Christ’s love as the center, no relationship will breed  trust.

I hope you gain some gold nuggets from the attached message. I did!

Wisdom Hunters Daily Devotionals.


Dec
2011

Trust is the Foundation

categories: Christ, Forgiveness, Fruit of the Spirit, Hope, Jesus, Love, Relationships, Trust, truth

According to Andy Stanley, these verses from 1 Corinthians 13 are historically used for marriage vows; yet they were established as a guideline for us to love people.
I want to share the points he made which are critical for us to understand to know what this looks like and how to apply it!

The health of all relationships flows out of how we trust people! This will be determined on two things:
1. What we see
2. Who we are
Trust verses from this scripture
Verses 5-6
“Love delights in those doing the right thing”
verse 7
“Love always protects, hopes and perseveres”
1. Love protects the relationship – when it is the hardest, do everything to trust
2. Hope is the explanation of that
3. Love believes and endures all things
Summary is LOVE BENDS!
1.It gives the other person the benefit of the doubt
2. It always looks for the most generous explanation
3. Love chooses trust over suspicion

The core of great relationships is TRUST
WE all have expectations and experiences. But what is in the middle of those?
I love how Andy put it that there is a gap there and WE CHOOSE what to do in that gap
When we find ourselves seeing behavior that causes a gap, what do we do? WE CHOOSE–If we CHOOSE TRUST (Believing the Best) that is love. LOVE BENDS!
Andy shared much more . . .

Summary –
LOVE BENDS – DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO TO YOU. Luke 6:31
When you can’t choose to trust, LOVE CONFRONTS, but not in a mean way. Only through a loving, respectful, kind and gentle way!
Go to the person, share that you want to trust them, you want to understand and you keep the door open to the relationship.
If we do nothing, anger develops internally and becomes embedded to the point the relationship is severed. A wise man will BEND!

Five points Jesus asks us to commit to:
1. When you see the gap – I will believe the best
2. When Others assume the worst about you- I will come to your defense
3. If trust is eroding by experience – I will come directly to you
4. When I cant keep a promise – I will let you know ahead of time
5. When you confront me about gaps I have created – I’m going to tell you the truth!

These are great commitments for each of us to make.

THE FOUNDATION OF ALL RELATIONSHIPS IS TRUST!


Sep
2011

No Longer Dead

categories: Boundaries, Courage, Healing, Hope, Trust, truth

I recently received this letter from a woman I know very well. Though her comments are raw, they are real and what many women experience. She has determined to allow a greater strength than herself to be her power. Her life is changing! I asked her permission to post this writing and she agreed for me to share. I believe others will connect with what she has written. You may even have some words of wisdom to share too!

I’m dead to you. As hard as I try, you constantly negate my feelings. When I attempt to share with you how I feel, you get frustrated. You roll your eyes, you shake your head, you tell me I’m being passive-aggressive. You are always telling me that I’m twisting things around. I’ve shared with you before that I’m afraid to talk with you.
Your solution to the problem “if you are afraid to talk to me, then you should just leave.”
You’ve told me before that this is just a failed experiment.
You’ve shared how unhappy you are. You always think I have something against you. You don’t see me as an equal.
As soon as I started to share with you my frustration with being up all night folding clothes, you responded with “oh, god forbid you fold clothes”
Yes, I walked away at that point. I am tired of being spoken to in that way. I will no longer accept the state of our relationship as it stands now. It is unhealthy for us.  It is unhealthy for our children. I refuse to allow myself or our children to be subject to this kind of life.
At one point, you went for days without talking to me. You were sick, you didn’t sleep.  “All the colors seemed to fade”
Where is that man? Where is the man who was crazy about me?
I  am dead to you.
I refuse to be dead to myself or our children. I will do what is necessary to continue to move forward in my life. I will continue to do what is best for my children.

You do not listen to me. You no longer share joy with me. You no longer wish to be a productive player in this game. You tear me down. You diminish my spirit. You always look for the wrong in what I’ve done. You never give positive feedback. It’s always what I’ve done wrong. Your words are like knives … I will no longer allow them to hit me. Your tongue will cause no more wounds to me. I am bigger. I am stronger.

I will not be broken by you.

You will respect me. You will honor me. You will cherish me. You will encourage me. You will support me. You will love me. You will care about me. You will be excited for me. You will make a real effort to be what you need to be in our relationship.

You will no longer use excuses to get out of dealing with hard issues. You will no longer call me names. You will no longer cut me down. You will no longer cuss at me. You will no longer degrade, berate me. You will no longer get away with making me feel crazy. You will no longer allow me to feel diminished.

You will lift me up. You will cherish what I bring to this family. You will back me up. You will be open to learning new things. You will be open to handling things in a better, healthier way. You will be open to facing your fears. You will be open to facing yourself. You will be open to dealing with your own pain. You will allow me to be there with you. You will allow me to step inside.

You will no longer have a wall up. You will no longer take the wind out of my sails. You will no longer beat me down.

You will be selfless and not the opposite. You will be understanding and not the opposite. You will show me that I am important to your life and your world. You will show our children how a husband should treat his wife. You will break free of your abusive patterns. You will make change. You will change. You will let me walk by your side. You will tell me you’re sorry when you know you’ve hurt me.

You will show me that I am not dead to you. You will not be dead. You will rise above yourself and your hurt and your fears. You will be an example to your children and family. You will be the man you should be for your family.

You will no longer believe I am dead. You will see me as light. You will see me as worthy. You will hurt when you see me hurting. You will make me feel better. You will lift me up. You will encourage without abuse. You will encourage without humiliation. You will encourage without inflicting pain.

You will not break me.

© 2011 Anonymous


Aug
2011

Prayer

categories: Faith, Forgiveness, Glory to God, Jesus, Prayer, Thankfulness, Trust

I am a praying woman.  I pray continuously throughout the day.  I pray in my quiet space, when requests are made known, on behalf of people I may pass while driving or in the stores.  I pray for forgiveness and for God to take care of my need and the needs of others.  I praise him for the gifts he sends my way.  Prayer requires discipline and a heart for God.  Am I praying as a Child of God??

When I pray for provision financially am I being financially responsible?  Am I paying my debts, giving to others?  When I work am I giving 110%, being honest, a person of integrity and working as though I am working for the Lord?

Am I praying for kindness, love and gentle hearts from others and yet not giving that very thing to the people I come in contact with?

Do I ask for forgiveness and yet I do not forgive others?  Do I have compassion for others or am I a gossip and condemner even though I have perhaps walked the same road in my lifetime?

Am I boastful?  I did that, I have this? I, I, I when I am to be thankful and remember that all good things come from the Lord and that the Glory is his, not mine.

Am I complaining but have a problem being around those that complain?

I know that as a Child of God he hears my prayers.  Prayer takes discipline.  We need to stop and give the Lord our time, our hearts.  We should praise him for all the wonderful, colorful ribbons he drops on us.  He already knows our every thought but what a joy it is for our Lord when we come to him in prayer!  Daily, not only when life is full of trials and turmoil but when we are at peace and joyful also.

I was complaining yesterday and yet I have a problem listening to those who complain – HELLO!  I stress over bills forgetting the provision God has given me!  He is watching all these struggles to trust.

Do I say, “I will pray for you” and not do it?  If you tell someone you will pray for them, pray immediately.  Don’t tell someone you will communicate with God on his or her behalf and not follow through.

I need to be with him in quiet when I pray.  I need to empty out the world around me.  Praise him, ask for forgiveness and forgive others.  Pray for his will in my life, to be delivered from evil and to be thankful that Jesus died for me – that I am His child and that he loves me, protects me and covers me.  What comfort to know that I can go to Him anytime and he will listen to me and hold my hand.  He will walk with me, protect me and never leave me.  Make time for God – the answers come from him.

© 2011 Debbie I. Downs

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Aug
2011

Moving On Up!

categories: Children, Mothers, pieces, Trust

I love my daughters. I feel confident that you love your children too. That’s why I believe you will understand my heart when I share a story with you.

With one daughter already married and on her own, it is sometimes difficult for me to think about my second daughter moving out. After graduating from college last December and accepting her dream job, she is beginning to make plans to move out and set up her own nest and independence. I have wanted this for her since she was born. Throughout her life I loved her and provided for her needs to the best of my ability. My dream was for her to develop into a healthy and whole woman, become independent and able to make wise decisions for her life. She is healthy, whole and a remembers that with each choice, direction determines destination. Now, the time is fast approaching for her to fly and though it is difficult, I want it for her.

After tagging along while she toured three different apartment complexes, I began to feel tension about her leaving home. I saw much of what I know can lead one down the wrong path and I imagine as a young adult it all looks very inviting. I cringe when I think how it could pull her away from all that is  waiting to unfold. I begin to think about the lessons she has learned, the love she was given and about the good people around her in her life as she grew up. I know of  her strong love for and knowledge of  God and I turn to my faith. I know the principles she lives by and am confident she is well prepared, protected and ready to fly.

More than two months have passed since we looked at apartments. I have observed my daughter’s decision-making during this time more closely. I know without a doubt, she will do well on her own. Today, I cleaned out a closet of all her belongings from when she came home from college less than a year ago. I wondered if this would be the last time I would get that opportunity. I sat in the closet floor and tears filled my eyes as my heart took a slow and memorable journey through her scrapbooks and photo albums from youth. As I placed them in the box, I thought about how much her plans to fly the coop have caused significant growth in me. This season of life has shown me that without a conscious awareness, I readied for the next season of my life as she set out to leave home. She is following her life dream , the one since she could walk and talk; I am following my life dream, discovered only a few years ago. Together, step by step, we are walking into our destinies. I am not certain what it will all look like, but this one thing I do know— we are each moving on up!