I have learned so much over these past three years of my new life! I have learned my true value and worth. I have learned that it does not come from men or people at all. Other people come from the same skewed perceptions we come from based on all of their life experiences. I now find my value and worth from a loving, merciful and unending grace-giving God. He loves me as I am, just as I am, yet He loves me enough not to leave me where I am.

Six days ago was the “celebration” of 3 years of being brought home. I returned a broken, lost, desperate and empty person who had no confidence, no self value and no hope who looked to my then-husband and material things to fill the deep chasm which lay inside me. I would ask myself, “What is wrong with me?” Here I was, wealthy beyond any dream, living on the South Sea and I was empty! I had everything one could imagine, yet I had no sense of who I was, and I had no meaningful purpose. Since that day 3 years ago, I have found complete peace. I have had the provision met which was needed in my life and it’s so much more than the eye can see! I have greater joy and purpose – a fulfillment beyond explanation and I’m just thrilled about where I am in the journey of my life, right now, this minute.

God has shown me how special I am to Him and how deeply He loves me. He has brought me out of the depths of the darkness and now His light shines in all the crevices. It has not been a road of easy decisions and although I continue to deal with some of the same circumstances and consequences in my life, I have a new perspective. My days are full of prayer with an attitude of gratitude and recognition of God’s Mighty power in the tiniest of details of my life to the greatest of circumstances in this world.

The very first step in my healing was recognizing our God and His Sovereignty.  He is much greater than me and knows infinitely better the heart I have and direction for my life than I know it myself. The opening up of my heart and saying “Okay God, I’m yours, I cannot do this anymore, I just don’t know how, I surrender! I’m sorry for thinking I could do this all without you! I ask for your forgiveness of my sin and the way that I put others first in my life when it should have been you! I am deeply sorry Lord! Please come into my heart and lead me in all I think, say and do.”

This step was the beginning of my journey of intimacy with God. I can’t wait to share with you through future writings the impact of this one step in my life!

“We can never know who or what we are until we know something of what God is – self-existent.” A. W. Tozer