We are no different from Adam and Eve when it comes to our response to our own sin. Like them, we can feel:
Ashamed
Disappointed
Not good enough
These 3 feelings, stirred from our sinful behaviors, are exactly what the Enemy uses to pull us away from relationship with God and into hiding.
Like Adam and Eve, we hide from God when we sin. But even in this tactic used by the Enemy, God did not leave Adam and Eve. Nor does He leave us. He pursued them in the cool of the morning. And just like them, He pursues each of us in the same way through Jesus!
Our sin might cause us to hide; but Jesus came to set us free from the power of Sin over us! His very words are “He who is in Me is greater than he who is in the world.”
God gave us freedom in Jesus. He is our High Priest and when we confess our sin and repent (make a u turn), He hears and intercedes for us!
God is good and nothing is too hard for Him, especially for those who open their hearts to give Him reign over their whole life. To them, God is working all things together for good!
Our relationship with The Lord is kept intimate through transparency in confession and true repentance.
Keep your intimacy with God protected and open!
“Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?””
Genesis 3:8-9 NIV
According to Andy Stanley, these verses from 1 Corinthians 13 are historically used for marriage vows; yet they were established as a guideline for us to love people.
I want to share the points he made which are critical for us to understand to know what this looks like and how to apply it!
The health of all relationships flows out of how we trust people! This will be determined on two things:
1. What we see
2. Who we are
Trust verses from this scripture
Verses 5-6 “Love delights in those doing the right thing”
verse 7 “Love always protects, hopes and perseveres”
1. Love protects the relationship – when it is the hardest, do everything to trust
2. Hope is the explanation of that
3. Love believes and endures all things Summary is LOVE BENDS!
1.It gives the other person the benefit of the doubt
2. It always looks for the most generous explanation
3. Love chooses trust over suspicion
The core of great relationships is TRUST
WE all have expectations and experiences. But what is in the middle of those?
I love how Andy put it that there is a gap there and WE CHOOSE what to do in that gap
When we find ourselves seeing behavior that causes a gap, what do we do? WE CHOOSE–If we CHOOSE TRUST (Believing the Best) that is love. LOVE BENDS!
Andy shared much more . . .
Summary – LOVE BENDS – DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO TO YOU. Luke 6:31
When you can’t choose to trust, LOVE CONFRONTS, but not in a mean way. Only through a loving, respectful, kind and gentle way!
Go to the person, share that you want to trust them, you want to understand and you keep the door open to the relationship.
If we do nothing, anger develops internally and becomes embedded to the point the relationship is severed. A wise man will BEND!
Five points Jesus asks us to commit to:
1. When you see the gap – I will believe the best
2. When Others assume the worst about you- I will come to your defense
3. If trust is eroding by experience – I will come directly to you
4. When I cant keep a promise – I will let you know ahead of time
5. When you confront me about gaps I have created – I’m going to tell you the truth!
These are great commitments for each of us to make.
I recently received this letter from a woman I know very well. Though her comments are raw, they are real and what many women experience. She has determined to allow a greater strength than herself to be her power. Her life is changing! I asked her permission to post this writing and she agreed for me to share. I believe others will connect with what she has written. You may even have some words of wisdom to share too!
I’m dead to you. As hard as I try, you constantly negate my feelings. When I attempt to share with you how I feel, you get frustrated. You roll your eyes, you shake your head, you tell me I’m being passive-aggressive. You are always telling me that I’m twisting things around. I’ve shared with you before that I’m afraid to talk with you.
Your solution to the problem “if you are afraid to talk to me, then you should just leave.”
You’ve told me before that this is just a failed experiment.
You’ve shared how unhappy you are. You always think I have something against you. You don’t see me as an equal.
As soon as I started to share with you my frustration with being up all night folding clothes, you responded with “oh, god forbid you fold clothes”
Yes, I walked away at that point. I am tired of being spoken to in that way. I will no longer accept the state of our relationship as it stands now. It is unhealthy for us. It is unhealthy for our children. I refuse to allow myself or our children to be subject to this kind of life.
At one point, you went for days without talking to me. You were sick, you didn’t sleep. “All the colors seemed to fade”
Where is that man? Where is the man who was crazy about me?
I am dead to you.
I refuse to be dead to myself or our children. I will do what is necessary to continue to move forward in my life. I will continue to do what is best for my children.
You do not listen to me. You no longer share joy with me. You no longer wish to be a productive player in this game. You tear me down. You diminish my spirit. You always look for the wrong in what I’ve done. You never give positive feedback. It’s always what I’ve done wrong. Your words are like knives … I will no longer allow them to hit me. Your tongue will cause no more wounds to me. I am bigger. I am stronger.
I will not be broken by you.
You will respect me. You will honor me. You will cherish me. You will encourage me. You will support me. You will love me. You will care about me. You will be excited for me. You will make a real effort to be what you need to be in our relationship.
You will no longer use excuses to get out of dealing with hard issues. You will no longer call me names. You will no longer cut me down. You will no longer cuss at me. You will no longer degrade, berate me. You will no longer get away with making me feel crazy. You will no longer allow me to feel diminished.
You will lift me up. You will cherish what I bring to this family. You will back me up. You will be open to learning new things. You will be open to handling things in a better, healthier way. You will be open to facing your fears. You will be open to facing yourself. You will be open to dealing with your own pain. You will allow me to be there with you. You will allow me to step inside.
You will no longer have a wall up. You will no longer take the wind out of my sails. You will no longer beat me down.
You will be selfless and not the opposite. You will be understanding and not the opposite. You will show me that I am important to your life and your world. You will show our children how a husband should treat his wife. You will break free of your abusive patterns. You will make change. You will change. You will let me walk by your side. You will tell me you’re sorry when you know you’ve hurt me.
You will show me that I am not dead to you. You will not be dead. You will rise above yourself and your hurt and your fears. You will be an example to your children and family. You will be the man you should be for your family.
You will no longer believe I am dead. You will see me as light. You will see me as worthy. You will hurt when you see me hurting. You will make me feel better. You will lift me up. You will encourage without abuse. You will encourage without humiliation. You will encourage without inflicting pain.
“Ascribe to the Lord the glory due to His name. Bring an offering and come before Him, worship the Lord in the splendor of His holiness.” 1 Chronicles 16:29 (NIV)
God is the creator of the universe and everything in it. He is the creator of you and me, and we are created in His image. He knew us when we were in our mother’s wombs. He knows our every thought and wants better than we know them ourselves. He knows every single detail of our lives, as small as the numbers of hairs on our head. He is involved in the smallest details of our lives, leading us into His goodness, truth, and righteousness. He loves us in a way that is indescribable by humankind. He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ to die for us. His Son took all the sin of the world upon His shoulders and died so that we could have forgiveness of all our sin, past present and future. Jesus was buried and after He was raised from the dead and more than five hundred people saw Him after He rose from the grave! He ascended to heaven to sit at the Father’s throne and sent us the gift of the Holy Spirit to guide us in all our ways and to help us to stay in Him. Remain in Him and He remains in us.
We obey Him from a heart of love and honor. It is our greatest hope to bring glory and praises to His name, not because we have to, but because it has become the desire of our hearts! He is our King of Kings! He is Sovereign. He is the Great Physician. He is the Mighty Counselor! He is Peace! He is our Rock, our Shepherd, our Provider! He is our Refuge, our Judge, and our Hope! He is the LORD, our Master, our Righteousness! He is Living, a Consuming Fire! He is the God Most High! He is Everlasting and Eternal! He is our Father!
He is our Husband and we are His Bride! We keep ourselves pure and white so that on the day of His return, we will be invited to join the feast and sit beside Him on heaven’s throne. He died for us, what more could we ask of one to show his love toward us?
His faithfulness to His Word has stood the test of time. In the lives of those gone before you, in your life and in mine – whether we see it now or not. So let us put away things that hinder our intimacy with our King and put on the clothes of righteousness. He will empower us for renewal, to endure and to stand firm in Him, by the Spirit of the Father that dwells within us.
“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery, idolatry and witchcraft, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissension, factions and envy, drunkenness, orgies and the like. I ward you as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the Kingdom of God.” Galatians 5:19-21 (NIV)
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Galatians 5:22 (NIV)
Pray for your thoughts, words, and actions to bring glory to God. Ask Him to change your heart so that it will become hidden in His, transforming you to have His thoughts, His words, and His actions. It is His utmost desire to give this gift to you from His deep love of you! Those who belong to Christ no longer walk in the sinful nature, but by the fruit of the Spirit. Let us take each step trusting the Spirit of God to lead us! Seek to please God in all things and the need for approval from others will fall away. Ask God to do away with any conflict in you and remain patient as He begins His work in you!
