We sat in the floor of my small bedroom thumbing through the pages of an old photo album of my past life. Images that showed smiling faces everywhere. Smiles, all smiles. Everything looked like a beautiful life.
As we turned the pages, I pointed out the people he knows, but would not recognize in their earlier ages. He was so interested in learning about them. And then, it was as if the world stopped for both of us.
It was too late. I had already asked the question, “Who is that beside your mom?” With a slight turn of his head, he glanced toward my face with his big blue eyes, “I don’t know Grandmother, who is it?” “Ah…sweetie, that is your daddy.”
Immediately, he crawled off the floor into my lap and curled up like a hurt puppy dog. His buried his face in my breast while taking gulps of air to catch breaths between his cries.
“Why doesn’t my daddy love me? Why doesn’t he want to spend time with me?”
You can imagine how my heart hurt for my ten-year-old grandson. I held the tears back the best I could and looked up calling on the One greater than me, “Father, give me something for your precious child. He needs something that he can understand now.” The angels arrived and dropped a story into my heart and mind.
“Sweetheart, I know it hurts, and I am so sorry. More than anything I want you to know how precious you are. His absence has nothing to do with you.” Still sobbing, he buried his head deeper. “Honey, I love you, mommy loves you, Auntie loves you. We all love you so very much.” It wasn’t enough. He was still sobbing, and his body was shaking.
“Love, have you ever seen anyone with a broken leg? When a person or animal has a broken leg, they walk with a limp. Their broke their leg, and can’t walk well. Have you seen that?”
I barely heard him whisper as he shook his head, “Yes.”
“Your daddy has broken leg love. He has something broken in his heart, and he is unable to love well.
I understand how much it hurts and I know it doesn’t seem fair. I promise it isn’t the way God designed it. He wants your daddy in your life. That’s how it was designed to be from the beginning. Unfortunately, Your daddy’s heart has a crack in it that needs mending. It has nothing to do with you. Nothing. You are lovable and precious.
We might not understand why. What we do know for sure is that in all we go through Jesus will work it out for His good purpose.” I took his small chin in my hand, kissed the top of his head and hugging him closer said, “Isn’t it wonderful that we already know what that is going to be in your life?”
“What is it, grandmother?”
“You’ve seen first hand how it feels for your daddy not to be present in your life. Because you know this feeling of rejection and lack, God can shape you to be a daddy who understands the value of spending time with and lavishing love upon your children. You will be a committed husband and daddy who desires only the best for his wife and children. That best will be what you have—the love of Jesus that lives in your heart.”
As we talked, he slowly lifted his head and slid off my lap and out of my arms. We said a prayer together thanking God for showing us how important it is for Daddy’s to be in a relationship and engaged in their children’s lives. We prayed for healing for his daddy’s heart so he can love the way Jesus does and we thanked God for hearing our prayer.
If you are a daddy who is not involved in your child’s life, I strongly encourage you to seek a way to be there. Humble yourself and come to your child confessing your broken leg love and ask them to forgive you for your absence. Please, let them know it isn’t because they aren’t loveable. The best thing you can do to show your child genuine love, is to be actively present in their lives, do what you say, and provide for their needs. Your child is missing you, but you are losing far more!
Children are a gift. As parents, we have the opportunity to provide for their emotional, spiritual and physical needs. I pray for all those who left their children’s hearts behind when they left them.
Are you someone with broken leg love? I challenge you to begin steps now to learn how to heal your broken leg love so your child will know you and your love.
If you aren’t sure how to reconnect and reconcile; If you are a dad or mom who has lost touch with your children, I can help you find your way back.
Photo Credits
Injured Leg by rawpixel on Unsplash
Swinging by Xavier Miralles on Unsplash